at exactly 11 hours from 2009, i find myself crying over the things i've encountered this year. its been really a tough year not just for me but for everyone i know. i heard people, from classmates to closest friends, share to me their heartaches and other problems. its sad that when i think about it, i guess 2008 was really a "full of tears" year for me. wala yatang month na hindi ako nagkaron ng major iyak moment. hindi naman sa wala akong happinness na nafeel... oa naman un. generally lang, its been a "down" year...
there are a lot of things goin on my mind now. i wanna thank a lot of people, apologize to a few... and yes, i also have sama ng loob sa ilang tao. but as i write, gusto ko kalimutan or tumahimik na lang. give it time. i am tired na. i do admit i am a person who knows how to have fun, and surely on the process sometimes, i also tend to fail to pause and think about something. yes, i tend to be gaga at times. but for those who has been my friend for quite a long time na, i guess alam nila what i am capable of. what my heart can and can't bear to do. it's so so sad that sometimes people opt for silence. but maybe its also something to be thankful for, for in silence things become clear to me. haaay ang labo.
im afraid to face the coming of the new year, but it is something i can't prevent from occuring. kaya iniiyak ko na lahat ngayon, so when the clock strikes at 12, pagod na ko from crying at siguro naman i can welcome it with smiles na.
well to all of those who has been part of my life this 2008, kahit sa pinakamaliit na way, maraming maraming salamat cos you have been part of my history.
to those na hindi ko na naspendan ng time, my imf, raiza, some college and highschool friends, sorry. i wish i had all the time para makasama or makita man lang kayo.
to those i've somehow hurt, i am truly sorry. haaay.
to my friends who have constantly been there, kahit hindi physically, mahal na mahal ko kayo...
to you, sorry for what happened to us. i wanted us to talk, but someone made me realize that it will never be easy to settle things, especially sa atin... so i'm giving it time. and i'm keeping my silence until wounds heal on its own. nakakapagod. but i still believe that things will be better, di ko alam kung kailan, pero eventually they will.
to my haaayyy... i know you will never read this but you are the only person worthy of everything. and so im letting you go and find solutions to every problem you have. feelings will be kept here. and someday, maybe diba?... for now, i'll refrain from saying things muna that will make things difficult pa for us. i love you, hindi lang sa strict definition ng pagmamahal.... =( i will be here lang.
things happen not just because they oughtta happen... there's more to everything. people will come and go. masasaktan tayo, iiyak pero kakailanganin rin natin bumangon. life will never ever offer us any form of immunity from all the cruelties it has to offer. sooo one must learn to survive, sa kahit anong paraan.
happy new year to everyone and i really hope and pray things will become BETTER.
